just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
