I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Your cock deserves a montage
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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