It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
