this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
