His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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