You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Randomize
