Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
