Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Someone shattered a urinal.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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