Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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