a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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