I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
