I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
