Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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