the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
