Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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