he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
