Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize