Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
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Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
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It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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