his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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