I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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