So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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