Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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