Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
