i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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