We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i need some magic done to my vagina
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
