I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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