someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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