her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
ttyl tear gas
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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