she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
