i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
