and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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