didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
