i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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