So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
