I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize