After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
