I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
