It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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