shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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