You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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