If that was your dad, he is hot
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
