That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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