sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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