one two three fourrrrnication!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
