I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
