You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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