At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
