I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
