i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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