Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
