i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
