Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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