I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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