distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
