New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
