I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
