Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize