Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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