im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
